Never-ending way towards 'mahaan'dom...

I'm quite pleasantly surprised that my last post created a bit of flutter somewhere in the minds of some people. Today I'm trying to think about what exactly is wrong with our ways and what really is the root of the problem.

Firstly, its very imminent for me to tell everyone (including myself) that this word 'Mahaan' sounds appropriate only in boring Doordarshan documentaries laced with chimerical self-praise. My personal belief is that this word describes a state of perfectness and it also has an element of viewpoint. For me, nothing can ever be the best possible thing. So perfectness is just a mirage. Moreover, something that's best in my opinion might be the worst in my roomie's views !!

So the inference :- never use this word in present tense, though it can be used in future tense or in fairytales and ofcourse in our Doordarshan documentaries !!

Now coming to the point, I feel I was a bit unbalanced in my last post. I simply made fun of our funny system and walked away without suggesting ways for making it less funny. Actually the thing is that I'm just a guy who thinks a lot but his thoughts end up making him think what he was thinking. In short, I dont know exactly what can be done to improve the situation, but yes I do have a few suggestions.

For that traffic warden thing, I just ask - 'What the hell is wrong in following the rule ??' Now dont say that a person riding a two-wheeler can't afford to buy a helmet..or jumping signals makes you reach home more than 5 minutes early. More than a crime or an offence, corruption is a habit and we are habitual to it. We see bribe as an income tax that we must pay to run our country. This illusion has to be destroyed. No doubt its a big task but nothing is impossible (except being mahaan !!). Be habitual to wearing the helmet, fastening your seat-belt, following the traffic signals (taught in class II) and believe me : your monthly savings will shoot up !!

For all the other points figuring in my last post, right from the reservation stuff to the brotherhood shown to terrorists to caste-based politics, I have only one possible solution in my mind - 'If you think India must become mahaan, then take up the positions of the morons governing the nation, but without being moron-ised by them.' In short, join politics and civil services and try to change the things without getting changed by the things. Ofcourse not everyone is supposed to become a minister or an IAS officer, but others need to remain aware, vigilant and educated about what's right and what's not. People like me, who have no interest in politics or perhaps have more interest in some other stuff, need to come out and participate in democracy with honest intentions and pro-nation thinking. The election day is not just another holiday, its the day which decides the fate of nation. You don't have right to criticize an ex-prime minister for reservations, you're not justified in criticizing an ex-chief minister for transforming the region once known as the education capital of Asia into the most backward state of country, you're simply being too negligent if you blame a political party for not allowing industries to flourish in two of the coastal states, literally turning them into labour-union-governed, impoverished, lawless regions where every other day is a strike or a 'bandh'.

All these ministers and parties were elected into power by us only and we have no moral right to put the blame on them.

The good part is that we still have time with us (if the doomsday prediction of 2012 is not correct !) - atleast 30 more years. (if the petroleum reserves vanish as predicted and we have no other alternative !) So if we start today, then we may atleast hope to be the world's last hope when the earth comes to an end !! :)

Mera Bharat Mahaan ??

Read the following statements :

1. India is absolute example of a symbiotic system. Here a motorist, without a helmet, is always concerned for the evening tea of the traffic cop and the cop, in return, shows full sympathy for him by not going for the harsh constitutional comeuppance. In India, there's always an 'under the table' way to easily get an abstruse-looking matter resolved and this forms the basis of a strong 'mutual' relationship between two groups of the society. 'Corruption' is an extremely derogatory and brazen word to describe this wonderful and unique system. Abhishek Bachchan rightly says in Delhi-6 : "India works !"

2. India scores very high on the equality charts. One may find the most qualified prime minister leading a government having some utterly categorical ministers. It sometimes becomes hard to imagine what would be happening at cabinet meetings where people with IQs ranging from 10 to 150 sit and discuss about the country's future. There's another aspect of this 'equal-opportunities' policy of India where in a typical college classroom, you can find a boy with an All India Rank(AIR) of 1000 in the entrance exam sharing his bench with a guy having an AIR of 100000. (You can put more zeroes in the second figure while removing a few from the first one and still the validity of the statement reamins undisputed !) The only thing that made this happen being the injustice and loathing faced by the fore-fore-fore-fore-fore-fathers of the second guy !! Now that really makes sense. So start doing those deeds today which make you loathesome and untouchable if you want a bright future of your great-great-great-grandsons !(And yes, dont forget to pay homage to an ex-prime minister who, unfortunately, found more revellers than mourners upon his death a few months ago.)

3. Mercy, clemency and absolution are the 'taglines' to categorise India. Our governments are bulwarks of human rights. And when that human is a terrorist, we are even more concerned. If someone is responsible for an attack on the heart of democracy and gets the capital punishment for it by the climactic institution of law, our government acts and delays the execution indefinitely, but if a self-proclaimed patriot takes up a gun and shoots down a person, who he believes is not good for nation, then no mercy is shown to him and he is hanged without any delay. Now observe the strking differences in these cases. The first guy is a person whose family(or maybe community) members were killed in some sort of violence somehwhere in the country. So his retaliation is justified. After all he is a human and human rights are meant for humans only ! The second guy was a traitor. He killed a Demi-God personality. He hurt the sentiments of his contemporary compatriots. He deserved to die as he had violated the 'all-hail-the-great-G' rule of his time. Talking of today, we have a very special foreigner guest in one of our high-security Mumbai jails. He has just avenged the killing of his brothers and sisters by gunning down a few hundred people. That's not a big deal and he deserves a 'fair' trial. Even if he gets death sentence, our most merciful, most humane Government of India is there to delay his execution and bear the expenses of this foreign envoy's comfortable stay in 'The Incredible India'. After-all, 'atithi devo bhavah' ! And who knows soon there will be another Kandahar and another 'Grand Show of Mercy' will flash India's G-principles to the world !!

4. Our economy is booming. People are getting richer. Cell-phones, LCD TVs, Cars, Air-travel everything is now accesible to the middle-class. Even the petrol is not that expensive now. The inflation rate has gone into an abyss. Forget about the ever-increasing prices of grains, milk and other various essential consumer goods. As far as the middle-class is able to afford it, there's no issue regarding this. The below poverty line(BPL) population anyways never thinks about such issues as people of this stratum are always content with the fact that the incumbent MP or MLA belongs to their cast or community. Thats what election and democracy is all about for them. The conclusion : everyone's happy in his/her own way.

Those who still believe in the saying 'Mera Bharat Mahaan' after reading these four points, I'm afraid to apprise them that they are not at all patriots. They are just chauvinists with dark shades of self-love on their eyes.

I suggest the saying for the real patriots : 'Mera Bharat Bane Mahaan'. And ofcourse there's no expiry date for this statement because neither anything in this universe is perfect nor can be.

Yeh cup to gaya !!

India's exit from T20 world cup..what a shame !! The team placed on top of the everest of rankings couldn't even make it to the semis. It is a matter of abysmal misery for Indian cricket.

Well...wait a sec before blaming our smart cricketers for that. After all, they are humans and secondly they are loaded with so many responsibilities. Dhoni has an added responsibilty of using his Aircel mobile connection to chat with his friends on Facebook...while Bhajji and Zaheer have an extremely important duty of attending the calls of their fans on their Idea mobile phones !!

Yuvi has to take care of his hair so that they are 'match-ready' with 'parachute' while the delhiites have the national duty of computer-educating the Indian youth with 'Jetking'.

It will be quite unfair to expect these 'idols' to perform (on field) everytime since they are loaded with so many 'Duties of National Importance (DNI)'. We must rather salute their commitment they've shown in handling all these jobs at the same time!!

Even as our neighbour (failed anarchy-infested nation) made it into the semis, we must not forget that our men in blue are far more superior and clairvoyant than that happy-go-lucky pack of guys because they knew well in advance that they were going to lose the decider against England and hence let Ravindra Jadeja play and bat (till his satisfaction) so that he wont complain that "mujhe toh batting hi nahi mili" ! And to the 'pleasant' surprise of himself, Jadeja got the limelight as well for his 35-ball 25 runs which were also dubbed as the 'match-turning' innings.

As far as my opinion is concerned, I deeply missed Viru. He's the one, or infact the only one, whom I enjoy watching. He's the soul of Indian T20 squad. Hopefully he'll soon be playing again.

Yeh cup to gaya..but I hope in near future, as a result of the expected apathy among Indian cricket fans, our national 'multi-tasking' cricketers will be relieved of some of their DNIs resulting in a better 'on-field' performance !!

Finally..aboard the train !!

My first post...koooll !!

Let me tell everyone (including myself) that I've come aboard this train of bloggers just for me. I dont care whether anyone reads what I write or writes about what he/she reads here. However, what I can assure of is that this place shall always remain full of unnecessarily wordy posts and I have my reasons for that.

So wish me good luck if you're lucky enough to do so !