2010 - what's in store??

This decade has been one of the most eventful periods in the history of mankind. We have seen numerous significant and unforgettable events that have drastically changed or made drastic changes inevitable in the world around us.

In years to come, there will be only two forces that will largely influence our lifestyles, our economies, our peace, our wars, our poverty, our fortunes, our lives and our deaths. These forces will be terrorism and global warming.

Now if we don’t bother much about what happened over the last decade or what would happen in next ten years and concentrate only on the immediate year to come, it is easily conceivable that this year is not going to leave our planet the way we have seen or thought of it before. This year is going to show us some huge results of what all has transpired over the last decade or in fact during the last century. The year 2010 is going to be decisive for mankind.

TERRORISM

It is not hidden from anybody that the world has zeroed in on Pakistan with hopes of eliminating the menace of terrorism. Now this does not mean that terrorism will vanish in 2010. But it can be easily predicted that this year is not going to leave Pakistan and more importantly, the world the same as before. Either US forces will be able to contain this Mujahiddin menace or Pakistan will commence its transformation into the world’s biggest ‘anarchy-infested, lawless, impoverished, dangerously-powered-by-weapons-of-mass-destruction and ruled-by-doctrinaire-religious-extremists’ piece of land. If the latter takes place, then it would also make half of the world reeling under the mercy of Pakistan, making it the most determining factor for survival of mankind and civility. If Afghanistan was our biggest concern in last decade, then Pakistan might go on to be a bigger concern now, and yes it won’t be legitimate to think about the whole decade this time.. A year or two would finish all our concerns forever !

GLOBAL WARMING

A few days ago I was reading an article in TOI that described last decade as the period of ‘Indo-China rivalry’. This reminded me of the history lessons of class IX that talked about the European industrialization era. The stark similarities between both these contexts are easily discernible. But there is a contrasting difference that exists. The century old era was not exposed to a global threat that today’s world has to deal with. Nobody knew in 1890 what concentration of carbon dioxide meant to mankind. But now, all because of this knowledge, I was unable to enjoy reading the above mentioned article. Instead of cheering up, I was left in uneasiness.

The tamasha of Copenhagen failed as expected. Now with no hopes from the ‘civilized’ society, it is becoming difficult for me to believe that I’ll live an average lifespan and have a peaceful natural death ! I’m skeptical whether, if sometime in future I wish to enjoy on a beach, there will exist a place called the Andamans that I visited this year. I’m also doubtful if I’ll be able to go for a dip in the holy Ganga river during my next visit to the hometown. Will I be able to revisit the Rohtang pass or Gangotri glaciers? Will my home in Ahmedabad stand in the expanding Thar desert someday? I know these thoughts of mine seem very strange and stupid today. But what actually is disturbing me is my premonition that the year 2010 will definitely show us a trailer of what is in store for us. I believe many of my ‘stupid’ doubts will be cleared this year.

Still with a hope that whatever I am worried about will be taken care of by more meaningful and effective human actions, I look forward to a prosperous and joyful 2010. After all...ummeed par hi duniya tiki hai... :)

Indian?? Of course I am !!

First of all, I thank people for reading my previous post and taking pains for posting critical reviews.. I really appreciate that.. I would address all the issues raised.

Instance 1

("I hope someday the daughter of this very MP shall become a gold medal for a foreign nation !")

While expressing myself, its very difficult for me to be diplomatic and always soft. It is just a matter of spontaneity that I end up writing such weird statements..which i really never mean.. but I also never regret them.. and it would be good if such statements are not understood literally.. its important to consider the prelude and feel the component of anger, rage and disappointment involved, rather than going for the literal meaning.

Instance 3

I'm afraid I don't buy the idea that eliminating anti-social elements won't do any good. If hanging kasab would create more kasabs, then I believe not hanging kasab would create even a larger number of 'victims of kasab' in the form of near and dear ones of those butchered by this animal. Those people would never be able to come out of trauma and they'll end up losing all faith in judiciary... and yes..I state again - 'Justice delayed is justice denied'

I wonder if relatives of those martyred in the parliament attack have ever been able to sleep peacefully since then...and the reason is known to all..

Now it is up to us to decide whether we should try NOT to please 'a few revenge-seeking, anger-driven' or we must try to commiserate with those who have lost their son or husband or mother or daughter because of the cowardly and beastly act of an 'anti-social element'!

My intention of broaching the topic of Saddam Hussein was all about the grit, determination and swiftness shown by the Americans in eliminating the man, whom they considered evil. My idea was to just give an example of how we must tackle our enemies. Who cares if no weapon of mass destruction was found in Iraq ? The reality is that the Iraqis got rid of a dictator and a mass murderer in the quest of an 'imperialistic madman' for personal revenge.

I strongly support such treatment for the enemies of the state.

As far as my lost patriotism is concerned, let me first clear a misconception flourishing in the minds of many people. I have stated in my earlier posts as well that patriotism should never be confused with chauvinism. The feeling of 'my country is the best' is chauvinism and I strongly condemn that. Patriotism is a very broad entity. As per my perception, it involves a zeal and will to make one's own country the best.

Yes, I agree having lost my patriotism is a bit weird ! Of course it was just a momentary feeling and I've come out of it now. But I must convey that the instances that I've kept were very demoralising and devastating for my resolve for the motherland... Another person B might have reacted differently, but whatever posted earlier was wholly my reaction..

Indian?? who ?? me ??

After being in a lighter mood lately and the resultant ‘gay talk’ of my previous post, last three weeks have been quite somber and demure for me. The causative agents for this are principally two: 1. My (disastrous) end-semesters and 2. My penchant for keeping myself well-informed of the world around.

I don’t consider discussing the first thing (as it will only multiply my sorrows..and not solve a problem). But the second topic deserves a mention at least on this measly nook of the web space.

A major chunk of my time, from the last 3 weeks, was engulfed by a black-hole called exam preparations ! However this doesn’t mean that I delved myself completely into the abysmal depths of textbooks. I exploited the broadband connection of my college to the maximum and downloaded stuffs and spammed more professors and wandered desultorily on youtube and finally watched (and read) news on my favorite news channel website.

But somehow, watching news was a bit disconcerting and disgruntling during this period. It felt as if with each passing day, my feeling of patriotism was fading away. As my end-semesters were approaching closer, my love for the motherland was drifting away. The happenings happening around me were all responsible for that.

Instance 1

A Russian tourist is raped in Goa. The rapist is a fucking politician. He has no regrets for his deed. The victim is threatened by the assailant afterwards. He is seen laughing on national television as if he has won a gold medal for India in Olympics ! About a month later, an ‘honorable’ Member of Parliament blames the girl for getting her modesty desecrated, giving enough evidence that he has the potential to become the next gold medalist for India..all he needs is just a state-sponsored visit to the Bondi beach ! It is a massive misery for us that out of over a billion people, we find such disgusting beings to be called our leaders. I hope someday the daughter of this very MP shall become a gold medal for a foreign nation !

Instance 2

A new kid called ‘Telangana’ is on his way ! The painful pregnancy of our motherland is the result of a yet another occasion of poor (family) planning by our demagogues. The labour pains have started in the form of riots and anarchy in one of our biggest and developed cities, i.e., Hyderabad. The date of delivery is not known as yet, but what is known to everyone is that all education boards will soon have to edit their geography textbooks for a good-for-nothing cause. Forget the petty politics involved, what is really disheartening is that most of the concerned people are perceiving this stupid and unimportant event as a matter of extreme importance. They are filled with a ‘passion’ that they never show for the country. The rest, who have a straightforward opinion – “Who cares ??”, are a minority and have no say. What I can foresee is the evolution of a new neighboring-states rivalry with more fights for distribution of power, water and other resources, joining the ever-growing bandwagon of ‘Dismantle India’ brigade. This brigade already has onboard terrorism, poverty, population, corruption, naxalism and of course our leaders !

I believe I screwed up my DOM paper because when I was supposed to be preparing for it, I was wondering about the mental state of the moron that composed a song/phrase (whatever) that goes like – “Anekta mein ekta, hai Hind ki visheshta” !!

Instance 3

Kasab is a better actor than SRK. He has made a mockery of the goddamn Indian judicial system. I bet he’ll end up acting in a few Bollywood movies before NOT dying, but getting free after a Kandahar-2 !! This insane terrorist has enjoyed one whole year in an Indian prison, which is a far better place than his Pakistan home ! At least he gets food here (and that too twice a day..something he must have dreamt of all his life) and secondly, he has no fear of a US drone firing a missile into his ass. What makes me almost cry is the fucking importance he is getting in our country. For all human rights activists, he is the most humane person on earth. Our government and judiciary, who are always looking to prove something or other to the world, don’t want to miss this opportunity to prove that India is the most justice-loving country in the world. Maybe they have a bigger plan of making India a global justice outsourcing hub !!

I can only ask this question – How long did it take for the US to hang Saddam Hussein?? Nobody knows clearly what actually transpired in the court, where he was tried. The version that US gave was accepted or rejected the world over. But ultimately, Saddam was hanged and nobody could stop that. At that moment, US never thought of proving anything to the world. Bush wanted to hang him and he did, even as we know that no weapon of mass destruction was actually found in Iraq.

Instance 4

A top IPS officer of Haryana molested a 14-year old girl in 1990. The girl could not bear the trauma and committed suicide three years later. The animal responsible for this has been convicted now, 19 years after the incident. Firstly, I believe in the saying – ‘Justice delayed is justice denied’. So this conviction is just as rubbish as shit. Secondly, the monster got a hilarious punishment. He got SIX MONTHS in jail. Now this is the beauty of Indian judiciary. You wait for fucking 19 years to put someone in jail for 6 months ! Even Mr. Liberhan would be feeling insecure after this !

Now just read this statement : “A former Director General of Police in Haryana, India molested a teen driving her to end her life. He escaped almost scot free with SIX MONTHS in jail after NINETEEN YEARS of trial.” If a foreigner reads out this statement and asks me about my nationality, I am definitely sure my reply WON'T be “INDIA”.

I kissed a girl...i liked it ??

After months in hibernation, i'm back !! but not with a bang of course !! i'm back with a song.. However i've listened to this track and watched its video a hundred times, but I never tried to connect it to the environment i'm living in. Yesterday, while i was completing the monstrous fluid machines journal for submission, i just discussed, with one of my best college buddies, the possibilities that would arise if we think of this song in context of the general college public. That discussion didn't yield many ideas, but later my mind worked like a real devil and I got many 'never-thought-before' situations, which this song could create.

For those who are clueless which song i'm talking about, it is 'I kissed a girl' by Katy Perry.

Please let my clarify that I dont wish to prove that my college has dumbest girls..

[axioms cannot be proved !! :)]

Well.. this is all what i could come up with :

Case 1

Two SVNIT girls, named Girl A and Girl B meet on the dinner table in their mess. Girl A, who is known as a geek as she knows how to use DC++ and download torrents, has just got the video downloaded and watched it in awe and disbelief. Girl B is a typical campus girl, one of the 99% girls on campus.

Girl A : hey ! I just watched a cool music video.

Girl B : oh.. which one ?

Girl A : 'I kissed a girl'. Its by Katy Per..

Girl B (interrupting) : what ?? (filled with gross disbelief and anxiety) Katy ?? what do you mean?? Is it related to LESBIANS ??

A pin-drop silence engulfs the whole mess. After a few nerve-tingling seconds of silence, some murmurs are audible :

'hey..somebody just uttered the L-word !!'

'oh my goodness...its even worse than the S-word and the F-word'

'who was that??'

'that was one of those two'(pointing towards Girl A and Girl B)

'we must stop talking to them!!'

'they are 'ess-ell-you-tee-ess'(A decent way to say an indecent word, originated decades ago in H-7.)

Case 2

Two typical SVNIT guys - Boy A and Boy B are discussing the lyrics of the song and its validity. Boy A has the following link open in his web browser : http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/katy-perry-lyrics/i-kissed-a-girl-lyrics.html .

Boy A : what do you mean by chapstick??

Boy B : dumbo !! google it.. I too don't know that..

On googling, they get this : ChapStick®: Never let your lips go naked.™ . After discovering that its the brand of a lip balm, they are back with their conversation.

Boy A : well..but as far as my personal experience is concerned, when I kissed my girlfriend, it smelled like masala bhindi !!

Boy B : oh.. you mean you kissed Girl A ?? she's your girlfriend..right ?? asshole..u're a big liar.. i know you didn't ki...

Boy A (interrupting) : i mean...when i almost kissed my girlfriend..(Actually Boy A was slapped thrice when he tried to give Girl A just a peck on her cheek after two years of a steady 'so-called' relationship !)

Boy B : hey.. the lyrics go - "Us girls we are so magical, soft skin red lips so kissable" What do you think??

Boy A (with complete faith in girls of campus) : dude..its just a hypothetical case, with large number of assumptions !!

Case 3

A so-called college couple consisting of Boy B and Girl Y meet at PMC for an evening stroll. Boy B (of previous case) has just viewed the video and he is in full amazement over the looks of Katy Perry.

Boy B : Today i saw an awesome music video. The track is by Katy Perry. She looks so Goddamn pretty. and the song complements her..

Girl Y (with a mixed feeling of suspicion and being rejected) : what is the song ?

Boy B : 'I kissed a girl'. Its a bit awkward, but..(trying to give explanation for his 'sin')

Girl Y (hurriedly) : oh.. i forgot..i have to go.. got to complete my tutorials for submission... see u later... bbye..

Boy B is left pondering if there is a way to kick one's own ass !!

Girl Y rushes to her room and talks to her room-mate Girl B.

Girl Y : you know..my boyfriend..Boy B.. he.. uhh... he.. i mean... he...

Girl B : what happened?? say... dont hesitate..

Girl Y : he too watched that 'ell-eee-ess-bee-aayee-aye-enn' video..and he liked that very much.. He found the singer..that bitchh..very beautiful..

Girl B : oh...thats very bad... it means.. he's a homo.. ohhh shitt... he's a 'jee-aye-vaye' !! oh..Girl Y.. (consoling) dont worry.. he was not made for you...you'll find a better guy..

Girl Y weeps on Girl B's shoulder, while Girl B tries to console her with motivating words...

Never-ending way towards 'mahaan'dom...

I'm quite pleasantly surprised that my last post created a bit of flutter somewhere in the minds of some people. Today I'm trying to think about what exactly is wrong with our ways and what really is the root of the problem.

Firstly, its very imminent for me to tell everyone (including myself) that this word 'Mahaan' sounds appropriate only in boring Doordarshan documentaries laced with chimerical self-praise. My personal belief is that this word describes a state of perfectness and it also has an element of viewpoint. For me, nothing can ever be the best possible thing. So perfectness is just a mirage. Moreover, something that's best in my opinion might be the worst in my roomie's views !!

So the inference :- never use this word in present tense, though it can be used in future tense or in fairytales and ofcourse in our Doordarshan documentaries !!

Now coming to the point, I feel I was a bit unbalanced in my last post. I simply made fun of our funny system and walked away without suggesting ways for making it less funny. Actually the thing is that I'm just a guy who thinks a lot but his thoughts end up making him think what he was thinking. In short, I dont know exactly what can be done to improve the situation, but yes I do have a few suggestions.

For that traffic warden thing, I just ask - 'What the hell is wrong in following the rule ??' Now dont say that a person riding a two-wheeler can't afford to buy a helmet..or jumping signals makes you reach home more than 5 minutes early. More than a crime or an offence, corruption is a habit and we are habitual to it. We see bribe as an income tax that we must pay to run our country. This illusion has to be destroyed. No doubt its a big task but nothing is impossible (except being mahaan !!). Be habitual to wearing the helmet, fastening your seat-belt, following the traffic signals (taught in class II) and believe me : your monthly savings will shoot up !!

For all the other points figuring in my last post, right from the reservation stuff to the brotherhood shown to terrorists to caste-based politics, I have only one possible solution in my mind - 'If you think India must become mahaan, then take up the positions of the morons governing the nation, but without being moron-ised by them.' In short, join politics and civil services and try to change the things without getting changed by the things. Ofcourse not everyone is supposed to become a minister or an IAS officer, but others need to remain aware, vigilant and educated about what's right and what's not. People like me, who have no interest in politics or perhaps have more interest in some other stuff, need to come out and participate in democracy with honest intentions and pro-nation thinking. The election day is not just another holiday, its the day which decides the fate of nation. You don't have right to criticize an ex-prime minister for reservations, you're not justified in criticizing an ex-chief minister for transforming the region once known as the education capital of Asia into the most backward state of country, you're simply being too negligent if you blame a political party for not allowing industries to flourish in two of the coastal states, literally turning them into labour-union-governed, impoverished, lawless regions where every other day is a strike or a 'bandh'.

All these ministers and parties were elected into power by us only and we have no moral right to put the blame on them.

The good part is that we still have time with us (if the doomsday prediction of 2012 is not correct !) - atleast 30 more years. (if the petroleum reserves vanish as predicted and we have no other alternative !) So if we start today, then we may atleast hope to be the world's last hope when the earth comes to an end !! :)

Mera Bharat Mahaan ??

Read the following statements :

1. India is absolute example of a symbiotic system. Here a motorist, without a helmet, is always concerned for the evening tea of the traffic cop and the cop, in return, shows full sympathy for him by not going for the harsh constitutional comeuppance. In India, there's always an 'under the table' way to easily get an abstruse-looking matter resolved and this forms the basis of a strong 'mutual' relationship between two groups of the society. 'Corruption' is an extremely derogatory and brazen word to describe this wonderful and unique system. Abhishek Bachchan rightly says in Delhi-6 : "India works !"

2. India scores very high on the equality charts. One may find the most qualified prime minister leading a government having some utterly categorical ministers. It sometimes becomes hard to imagine what would be happening at cabinet meetings where people with IQs ranging from 10 to 150 sit and discuss about the country's future. There's another aspect of this 'equal-opportunities' policy of India where in a typical college classroom, you can find a boy with an All India Rank(AIR) of 1000 in the entrance exam sharing his bench with a guy having an AIR of 100000. (You can put more zeroes in the second figure while removing a few from the first one and still the validity of the statement reamins undisputed !) The only thing that made this happen being the injustice and loathing faced by the fore-fore-fore-fore-fore-fathers of the second guy !! Now that really makes sense. So start doing those deeds today which make you loathesome and untouchable if you want a bright future of your great-great-great-grandsons !(And yes, dont forget to pay homage to an ex-prime minister who, unfortunately, found more revellers than mourners upon his death a few months ago.)

3. Mercy, clemency and absolution are the 'taglines' to categorise India. Our governments are bulwarks of human rights. And when that human is a terrorist, we are even more concerned. If someone is responsible for an attack on the heart of democracy and gets the capital punishment for it by the climactic institution of law, our government acts and delays the execution indefinitely, but if a self-proclaimed patriot takes up a gun and shoots down a person, who he believes is not good for nation, then no mercy is shown to him and he is hanged without any delay. Now observe the strking differences in these cases. The first guy is a person whose family(or maybe community) members were killed in some sort of violence somehwhere in the country. So his retaliation is justified. After all he is a human and human rights are meant for humans only ! The second guy was a traitor. He killed a Demi-God personality. He hurt the sentiments of his contemporary compatriots. He deserved to die as he had violated the 'all-hail-the-great-G' rule of his time. Talking of today, we have a very special foreigner guest in one of our high-security Mumbai jails. He has just avenged the killing of his brothers and sisters by gunning down a few hundred people. That's not a big deal and he deserves a 'fair' trial. Even if he gets death sentence, our most merciful, most humane Government of India is there to delay his execution and bear the expenses of this foreign envoy's comfortable stay in 'The Incredible India'. After-all, 'atithi devo bhavah' ! And who knows soon there will be another Kandahar and another 'Grand Show of Mercy' will flash India's G-principles to the world !!

4. Our economy is booming. People are getting richer. Cell-phones, LCD TVs, Cars, Air-travel everything is now accesible to the middle-class. Even the petrol is not that expensive now. The inflation rate has gone into an abyss. Forget about the ever-increasing prices of grains, milk and other various essential consumer goods. As far as the middle-class is able to afford it, there's no issue regarding this. The below poverty line(BPL) population anyways never thinks about such issues as people of this stratum are always content with the fact that the incumbent MP or MLA belongs to their cast or community. Thats what election and democracy is all about for them. The conclusion : everyone's happy in his/her own way.

Those who still believe in the saying 'Mera Bharat Mahaan' after reading these four points, I'm afraid to apprise them that they are not at all patriots. They are just chauvinists with dark shades of self-love on their eyes.

I suggest the saying for the real patriots : 'Mera Bharat Bane Mahaan'. And ofcourse there's no expiry date for this statement because neither anything in this universe is perfect nor can be.

Yeh cup to gaya !!

India's exit from T20 world cup..what a shame !! The team placed on top of the everest of rankings couldn't even make it to the semis. It is a matter of abysmal misery for Indian cricket.

Well...wait a sec before blaming our smart cricketers for that. After all, they are humans and secondly they are loaded with so many responsibilities. Dhoni has an added responsibilty of using his Aircel mobile connection to chat with his friends on Facebook...while Bhajji and Zaheer have an extremely important duty of attending the calls of their fans on their Idea mobile phones !!

Yuvi has to take care of his hair so that they are 'match-ready' with 'parachute' while the delhiites have the national duty of computer-educating the Indian youth with 'Jetking'.

It will be quite unfair to expect these 'idols' to perform (on field) everytime since they are loaded with so many 'Duties of National Importance (DNI)'. We must rather salute their commitment they've shown in handling all these jobs at the same time!!

Even as our neighbour (failed anarchy-infested nation) made it into the semis, we must not forget that our men in blue are far more superior and clairvoyant than that happy-go-lucky pack of guys because they knew well in advance that they were going to lose the decider against England and hence let Ravindra Jadeja play and bat (till his satisfaction) so that he wont complain that "mujhe toh batting hi nahi mili" ! And to the 'pleasant' surprise of himself, Jadeja got the limelight as well for his 35-ball 25 runs which were also dubbed as the 'match-turning' innings.

As far as my opinion is concerned, I deeply missed Viru. He's the one, or infact the only one, whom I enjoy watching. He's the soul of Indian T20 squad. Hopefully he'll soon be playing again.

Yeh cup to gaya..but I hope in near future, as a result of the expected apathy among Indian cricket fans, our national 'multi-tasking' cricketers will be relieved of some of their DNIs resulting in a better 'on-field' performance !!

Finally..aboard the train !!

My first post...koooll !!

Let me tell everyone (including myself) that I've come aboard this train of bloggers just for me. I dont care whether anyone reads what I write or writes about what he/she reads here. However, what I can assure of is that this place shall always remain full of unnecessarily wordy posts and I have my reasons for that.

So wish me good luck if you're lucky enough to do so !